Culture

The Inverse Staff Sides With...

The staff reveals their political leanings

ISideWith is a popular app that determines where you “side” on major issues and what presidential candidate is most in line with those choices. We sent around the poll to the Inverse staff. Here are the results.

Andrew Burmon (Bernie Sanders, 84%): Bernie Sanders is a belligerent New England Jewish Person, which is something I can identify with and respect. He’s also the song of the summer. I donated to his campaign because I want to be quoted in the 3000-word postmortem on his campaign Newsweek is going to run about four months from now.

Ben Guarino (Sanders, 82%): I’m on Bernie Sanders’ side with our biggest overlap being environmental issues. If I care deeply about carbon PPM and rare Appalachian salamanders but randomly guessed about my stance on Pacific trade agreements — does that make me a democratic socialist? Cool! 

Eric Francisco (Sanders, 81%): I scored 75% with Hillary Clinton, 60% with Martin O’Malley — and this shocked me —58% with Rand Paul. Mainly on foreign policy.

I side with Democrats 91%, Green Party 89%, and Socialists 78%.

Considering Elizabeth Warren was my number one choice, I’m kind of surprised to learn Bernie Sanders would be my “ideal” candidate but he’s far from the last choice I would have willingly gone with. I just about expected this result; I know how blue I am, but I just spent a weekend with my very red, very right-wing extended family so I’m probably feeling a little more vicious than I usually am. I actually took this quiz years ago for the 2012 election thinking I’d get a high libertarian score, but I scored high with dems. Seems like not much has changed since then.

Hannah Margaret Allen (Sanders, 89%): While I’m not shocked by the results, I didn’t realize how closely I align with Bernie. My conjecture was that I’d be more a Hillary. I wasn’t too far off — she ended up being my number two with 71%. These are things to consider. What should not be considered: Rick Santorum being the first Republican on my list. Absolutely not.

David Turner (Sanders, 88%): The results put me with Bernie Sanders at an 88% match, not too surprising. I’d say and seeing that my top four matches were Democrats with Jeb Bush being the first Republican coming in at 28%, felt right. Sorry southern roots! I typically — only? — vote for democrats and so far there’s nothing about this election to change those particular leanings. I did laugh at the 1% match to Scott Walker. Hi, Wisconsin! 

Sam Eifling (Sanders, 93%): Improving access to health care and education for anyone who needs them is expensive. We should pay for it by not incarcerating 25 percent of the world’s prisoners and by not starting quagmire wars. Our environment shouldn’t make us sick, banks shouldn’t make us broke, and the NSA shouldn’t be rifling raccoon-style through our digital detritus. If you get pregnant, and decide you don’t want to be, the state shouldn’t force you to have a child. If you’re sick or in pain, and decided you no longer want to live, the state shouldn’t deny you access to a peaceful death of your choosing. Most immigrants are brave and determined people who are making due on less; they should be treated humanely. People likely to shoot other people to death should be prevented from having firearms. If you have a baby, the government and your employer should pitch in to make sure you can raise it for a while before insisting you go back to work.

To me these seem like totally rational, middle-of-the-road positions. Of course, they align most closely with the allegedly flaming lefty in the lot, one Bernie Sanders. I can only assume, then, that he’s the most fit person to become president, and thus, because of the wisdom of large crowds, will be elected next year. See you in the future, everyone.

Sean Hutchinson (Sanders, 88%):  This was a bit tough because it had you directly address a ton of issues at once, and a list questionnaire isn’t really the best way to go about that. It wasn’t extremely difficult, but once you got into the additional answers it gave you a bit more leeway to engage with each question a little further.

I’m not surprised I was matched with Bernie Sanders. He’s the most left candidate on the left, and I lean that way more often than not. It’s also a bit sad because I think Sanders has no chance of winning, and not being able to vote for the candidate you align yourself with the most forces you to potentially give up your position on certain issues when the candidates are set. Politics is tough.

Lauren Sarner (Sanders, 90%): I got Bernie Sanders 90%, which is pretty much what I expected. My political history involves growing up watching Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They (along with John Oliver) are legitimately the people in the news I respect the most. Although they say they are “fake” news, they deliver the facts along with their critiques, and their mocking isn’t relegated to any one side. It’s whoever is currently being the most ridiculous. And as far as mainstream news anchors go, the one I have always respected the most is Lawrence O’Donnell. 

Corban Goble (Sanders 91%): I knew Sanders was a lock to sweep the staff. Given that we are the type of people who are probably way too into the Internet, Sanders — a self-described  ”democratic socialist” — sings our siren Internet song. I got 77% Hildog, in terms of candidates who have an actual platform that can actually win anything resembling a popular vote.

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