Are you drinking a Heineken? Microwaving a boneless chicken breast? Listening to U2's latest album, or watching 2004's Crash? Well don't breathe a word of any of that to people who has developed taste, because they're judging you constantly. Here's what goes through their minds.
Has Very Serious Views on: Cars
Dream car: McLaren F1
Favorite car-related motto: "Not all BMW drivers (pictured) are assholes, but all assholes drive BMWs."
Judges you harshly when: If someone’s into cars and they mention liking raised trucks. And no car guy likes a Prius, that’s the anti car-person car. Smart cars too — they’re not as cheap as you might think, their mileage isn’t as good as you might think, there are cars the same size that are cheaper and have more interior space. Everything about it — there’s just literally no reason to like a Smart car. It’s ironic that its called a Smart car because the smart decision is to stay away from buying one.
Thoughts on bumper stickers and vanity plates: Vanity plates are fine if they’re not stupid. If someone has a lot of bumper stickers, you can tell they don’t care about cars. And if someone has a My Child Is An Honors Student sticker, they have confidence issues and their kid is dumb.
Thoughts on automatic vs. stick: If all cars were stick shift, there would be fewer accidents. The reality is that cars are still really dangerous and people text or fool with the radio or send selfies while driving. If you had to actually use all your limbs to drive, there would be more focus on the car and the driving.
Thoughts on people who slap flame decals on the sides of their cars: I kind of want to light them on fire.