'Star Wars 9' spoilers: Burger King ad might just ruin the entire movie

Would you spoil Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker for yourself to score a free Whopper from Burger King? This is the provocative moral predicament cooked up by someone at the fast-food chain, which recently launched a voice-activated coupon for a free burger that only works if you record yourself repeating various plot points from the upcoming movie. Before you rush to ruin the movie for yourself, this Star Wars promotion is only available in Germany, but the Episode IX spoilers it includes might actually be legit.

Seemingly based on a September leak from Making Star Wars founder Jason Ward, these supposed spoilers remain unverified. We won’t know how accurate they are until The Rise of Skywalker comes out, but it seems unlikely Lucasfilm and Disney would allow a publicity stunt like this. Then again, forcing Burger King to remove the spoilers would seemingly confirm them, right? It’s worth noting either way that one definition of “whopper” is “a gross or blatant lie.”

So what do these Burger King Star Wars spoilers actually say, and how legitimate do they seem?

Based on the translated captions from LBB Online’s video and our own rough translation of several menu items featured in the commercial, here’s what happens in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker in what we can assume is chronological order.

Needless to say, huge “spoilers” follow for The Rise of Skywalker:

“The young villain uses the anger of the young swordlady”

This phrase appears on the side of a straw during the commercial. The phrases “young villain” and “young swordlady” pop up time and again in these spoilers referring to Kylo Ren and Rey, respectively.

Dark side villains are always trying to leverage the good guys’ anger to corrupt them in Star Wars. Even if this one’s true, can you really consider it a spoiler? Our best guess here is that Kylo Ren tries to fuel Rey’s anger earlier in the film when they encounter Darth Vader’s helmet. It’ll probably also trigger a vision of Dark Rey. Because this is Star Wars, Rey can only win by reaffirming her faith in the Light and renewing her sense of hope.

“The death of the young swordlady’s parents was ordered by the old hoodie villain”

Now this is a spoiler. The German phrase to represent Palpatine translates as “the old hoodie villain,” which might be a slight mistranslation of something like “hooded.” (And now all we can picture is Palpatine wearing a hoodie.)

This spoiler indicates that Palpatine ordered the death of Rey’s parents or even participated in the act directly. Up until the first Rise of Skywalker teaser, nobody had any idea Palpatine would even be back, so this could be a strong indication that he’s been orchestrating events for a long time.

“The young swordlady sees in her vision the spaceship in which the murderer of her parents flies off”

Taken with the above spoiler, this detail printed on a poster hanging in the Burger King means that the ship Rey sees in her villain from The Force Awakens belongs not to her parents but to whoever murdered them. Why does this even matter? Whoever killed her parents could be someone we know or will meet during the film. Did Zorri Bliss kill them? We can’t rule it out just yet.

“The young swordlady is the grandchild of the old hoodie villain”

Rey being Palpatine’s secret granddaughter has been recycled in various leaks and rumors over the past months. This spoiler could be revealed at any point during the movie, even reserved for the final confrontation against Palpatine similar to the reveal that Darth Vader was Luke’s father.

Taken with the other spoilers, this means Palpatine had his own son or daughter killed trying to get to Rey, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense unless Palpatine artificially impregnated someone with the Force in a way similar to what he did to make Shmi Skywalker pregnant with Anakin. Ultimately, this would make Rey a Palpatine and also a Skywalker while still maintaining that Rey’s parents were nobodies.

“The dark side has kidnapped bright kids to raise them against their parents”

We know from Star Wars: Battlefront II that the First Order has been abducting children and forcing them into service as a new generation of stormtroopers. Earlier this December, The Rise of Skywalker director J.J. Abrams confirmed that the film will explore Finn’s backstory.

The language here is clunky, but the “bright kids” could also refer to Force-sensitive children instead. If that’s the case, then Palpatine may have been abducting as many of these individuals as he could over the last 30 years and training them to be Sith Acolytes or even Knights of Ren.

“The blonde general is killed for freeing the prisoners”

For months, leaks have been claiming that General Armitage Hux is a secret turncoat that either has been or will start helping the Resistance. From the Resistance Reborn prequel novel, we know that the First Order has been imprisoning anyone they see as sympathetic to the Resistance.

The practical explanation here would be that General Hux, jealous of Kylo Ren’s rise of power, would attempt to undermine his authority by allying himself with the Resistance instead. In the end, however, he’s killed.

“The hairy roaring creature is accidentally killed by the young swordlady but actually survives”

Chewbacca died in one of the now non-canon Star Wars novels, which sets a precedent for his death being a possibility in The Rise of Skywalker. If everyone’s favorite “hairy roaring creature” died, that would devastate millions of fans, so it’s a good thing that the “young swordlady” is able to save him.

If he dies or almost dies as the result of some kind of accident, it would be the perfect opportunity to showcase another popular spoiler we’ve heard a lot about:

“The young swordlady has healing powers”

The back of an employee’s shirt at one point in the trailer mentions this much-rumored spoiler that Rey has inexplicable Force-based healing powers. She allegedly discovers them somewhere in the middle of the film and they become important again in the film’s final act.

“The young villain turns to the bright side after being defeated by the young swordlady”

The Rendemption of Kylo Ren returning to the Light side and becoming Ben Solo again feels inevitable, and this particular spoiler implies that it’ll happen after he loses to Rey in what’s probably a fight in the middle of the film.

Some other leaks and rumors claim that Kylo Ren casts aside his red crossguard lightsaber and winds up having to fight the Knights of Ren with no weapon. Some very recent leaks also claim that Rey gives Ben Solo Leia Organa’s blue lightsaber just ahead of the final battle, which would make a lot of sense given what supposedly happens next.

“The young villain and the young swordlady team up agains the old hoodie villain”

If you paid attention to the leaked images in October, then you know that Kylo Ren gets his own blue lightsaber and confronts Palpatine alongside Rey. Of all the spoilers on this list, this one is probably the most likely. We’ve seen the images, for what it’s worth.

“The young villain dies”

Plenty of theories out there say that Ben Solo sacrifices himself in some capacity during the final battle against Palpatine. It’s just as possible that Palpatine kills him outright, leaving Rey to summon the courage to defeat her grandfather on her own.

Might Rey heal Ben the same way she did Chewie? Maybe. But maybe not.

Are any of these accurate? Find out when Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker hits theaters on December 20, 2019.